Another Kick in the Head
by roses-are-a-weed
Summary: MangaVerse. Fate, possibly; coincidence, maybe. The longing of Yobei Heron, the inconvenience of Ranma Saotome. I hope some of you know who I'm talking about, volume 23 for the interested. New chapter. On temporary hiatus.
1. Prologue

Title: Another Kick in the Head.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is not mine; I make no profit off of this work… So?

Pairing (not really sure if this is even applicable): Yobei Heron (from v. 23 of the manga)/ Ranma. Sort of.

Author's notes: This is manga-verse. The Yobei Heron story occurs in volume 23 actually, volume 23 is a very _interesting_ volume. You will notice that this is not part of Ranma's… Husband? My brain was refusing to cooperate and I've had this stuck in my head for too long now. Far, far too long. That doesn't guarantee that I'll ever write any more of this… I'd like to mind you, except I really _do_ like writing Ranma's… Husband? We'll all just have to wait and see what fate, fortune and above all _time _permits.

You can easily find a summary of the Yobei Heron story on the internet if you are not familiar with it. I'd do one myself but I worry it would push the author's notes into being far too long for such a short story.

Edited to add: Ahem, most of you will have no idea who Yobei Heron is, this I am aware of, so... um... .com/?wtmag0zh0mm . It's just the two chapters and I couldn't find my own volume 23 so it's not the official version, and I wouldn't usually do this, but I like to think of it as an advertisement for the manga. The manga's good, more of you should buy it. Forgive me universe.

000

He was bored. So, so bored. You wouldn't think it was possible to be bored when surrounded by beautiful, half-naked women but he was. _Bored_. They were all so _boring_. How was it possible that they were all so boring? All that pretty flesh, but not a single thought in a single pretty head. They were passionless, lifeless, pointless.

He missed her… him… _whatever._ He missed the girl with the pigtail. Even though he hadn't known her long he missed her with all his heart. Even if _she_ was a _he_. She'd been interesting, alive, passionate, and real… not like the girls that hung off him these days.

Money was in some ways a curse- but not enough of one to overtake its advantages. No longer living in a mansion that was falling down around his ears was good- as was electricity. Now that he had money he had it all. And what a lot of money it was. Heron Island had become one of the most prestigious resorts- The hot springs, the sea, the perfect weather… In less than a year he had made back his families once-great fortune at least five times over. To put it simply: He was rolling in it.

Wealth was long known to be an aphrodisiac- but even with the way the young women had carried on when he was trying to find his beloved pigtailed one, he hadn't really understood it. Not 'till now.

He looked over at the bleached, perfumed, waxed, primped, glossed, oiled, powdered, permed, painted, almost naked, _creatures_ trying to get his attention and winced. He'd seen deeper globs of _spit_. The thing so appealing about his beloved pigtailed one was, unexpected gender aside, she was different. _Natural_. Not affected like these girls.

He was sick of these girls.

Sharice, or Sharon, or Scheherazade, or whatever the annoying American's name was, was trying to catch his attention again. Apparently she was from Miami. Why did she think he cared? It wasn't like bony, falsely tanned, bottle-blondes with overblown makeup and false… _assets…_ were his style.

Urgh.

No. His desires ran in a very particular direction these days.

Red hair.

Pale, milky skin.

Luminous, dark, Japanese eyes.

Petite.

Curvaceous – not too thin, but not too overweight either,

Long, shapely legs.

Fiery temperament…

His pigtailed girl… boy… _whatever._

Sheila, Shilou, or whatever, was empty. Soulless. Life-less. It would be like having a relationship with a blow-up doll- or so he imagined. _Ick. Ick, ick, ick, ick. Ick. _He sighed and walked away from the sputtering blonde; ignoring her plaintive wails as she called after him. _Tiresome_.

He walked around his ever increasing resort and winced at the sounds of giggling girls, screaming children, and complaining elderly couples. He had no passion for it these days. Heron Island was so popular that he was thinking about expanding- maybe going on a trip to find a new hot-springs resort. He certainly had enough staff to run the island while he was away, and he could use a break.

Morosely he wandered inside and upstairs to his new, massive, inordinately ornate bedroom. Sighing again he walked out onto his balcony to survey his _kingdom_. The cool sea breeze felt refreshing as it wafted against his skin, lifting his mood from irritation to vaguely content apathy. He looked down at them all with envy- they all seemed so _happy_, aside from the ones that kept whinging but he suspected they were happy whinging. He was envious.

A commotion caught his attention and he looked to the right to see the strangest group of people… ok, people and _panda,_ walking across the courtyard. There was a tall, long-haired, moustachioed man, three dark haired girls (two of whom were squabbling) and a panda dragging a reluctant red-head. _Wait_. It couldn't be…

The girl seemed to instinctively sense his presence and looked up.

They made eye contact. He _knew_ those eyes- they haunted his dreams. He felt his heart skip a beat. The girl… _his _girl… boy… whatever.

His beloved pigtailed one.

000


	2. Chapter 1

Another Kick in the Head: Chapter 1.

Author: roses_are_a_weed.

Rating: Teen.

Disclaimer: I am not the author nor do I own any rites to Ranma 1/2, and have no intention of profiting off it.

Notes: Long time no see, huh. I have the writer's block. Extremely, incredibly, badly. Especially in regards to Life, Love, Loss, Lunacy so it may be some time before any of us see any more of it. I decided that getting something out was better than letting everything languish, so here we are.

I've edited the prologue a bit, not much so you probably don't have to re-read it, but you might want to in order to refresh your memory...

Ahem, most of you will have no idea who Yobei Heron is, this I am aware of, so... um......(http://www. (remove space here) mediafire (and add this to-) .com/?wtmag0zh0mm . It's just the two chapters and I couldn't find my own volume 23 so it's not the official version, and I wouldn't usually do this, but I like to think of it as an advertisement for the manga. The manga's good, more of you should buy it.

Oh, and _Lifts=Elevators_.

000

Nerima never changed. Never. Didn't matter what happened, didn't matter who it happened to, living there remained a constant, incessant hell. His muscles were sore again, not that that bothered him, not that the fight ever did, but it was the bruises - hours old overlaying days old overlaying weeks old – that were starting to get to him. Or maybe he was just feeling sensitive. Maybe he was just feeling like a girl.

He hated himself sometimes, but he could never hate himself more than everyone else seemed to hate him. Sometimes he wondered what it was about him, what miasma oozed out of his pores that consigned him to an eternity as a punching bag. A misunderstood punching bag.

_Ahh heh_, he was being pathetic. _Chin up. Grit your teeth and bear it Ranma._

His life could be worse, he could be cold and wet and starving with nowhere to lay his head at the end of the day- living with the Tendous was a step up from life alone with his pop. A step up from his childhood. Not the most dignified or comfortable step, but in his experience there was no such thing as a free lunch... even the food he scored in his girl form was paid for by the 'hopes' of the men and boys who bought it for him.

He was depressed. There was no hiding it, not anymore, at least not from himself; he would very much like to continue hiding it from everyone else he knew. He'd been stuck like this, frustrated, quietly angry and disgusted with everything, with himself, for the last week. It would pass, it always did, but right then it felt like the weight of eternity pressing down on his shoulders. The worst part of it was that there was no reason for him to feel like this, nothing in particular had happened, nothing worse than usual anyway, he just was. In reality it was probably because school was out and there wasn't that one little thing that enforced the barest hint of normality on his life.

"Dinner's ready!" Kasumi called out, sticking her head into the room and frowning, "Isn't Nabiki home yet?"

Akane turned her attention away from the television long enough to shrug and say "Haven't seen her."

"Oh well," Kasumi sighed, "I suppose we'll have to start without her."

He watched without anticipation as Kasumi brought in various dishes and placed them on the already set table. He inched over into his place as Akane abandoned the television and his pop and Mr. Tendou pulled away from their shougi game. Happosai had been missing since the morning, which was good for now, but the old man could be getting up to all sorts of no good – not a comforting thought.

He'd just initiated a half-hearted squabble with his pop over a particularly juicy piece of beef when Nabiki slinked into the room, a smug smile twisting her lips as she waved a piece of printed card at them. "Pack your bags everybody, we're going on vacation."

"What do you mean Nabiki?" Kasumi asked what they were all thinking.

"Mmm," Nabiki hummed softly in self satisfaction, "I won this," she waved the card again, "off Kuno-baby earlier. It's one all expense paid family ticket for three weeks vacation on Heron Island." She paused to let that sink in before purring "_The_ Heron Island."

A shiver of recognition went down his spine. _Oh crap_.

Kasumi jumped up and took the ticket from Nabiki, her eyes running over the writing. "But Nabiki," she was frowning, "this says the ticket is for _five_ people, there's six of us. Seven if you include Happosai."

"I've no intention of including Happosai in anything," Nabiki replied. "Anyway, If Mr. Saotome comes as a panda there's five of us. You, me, Akane, dad, and Ranma. Five."

"Don't worry, I don't have to go," he'd spoken before he even realised he was going to. _Double crap, they'd wonder why_ – and now they were all staring at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Nabiki got in before anyone else had a chance to speak, "Not go? To _Heron Island_? Number one most popular resort, combining both exquisite hot-springs facilities and a beautiful tropical paradise, rated a full ten out of ten in '_Luxury_'Nerima's number one magazine for everything you want in life but are too poor to achieve," at that she held up a glossy magazine she'd pulled from the Gods knew where. A glossy magazine with the words 'edited by Nabiki Tendou' printed clearly on the front - where she'd gotten the time he didn't know, would dearly like to, but it was such a Nabiki thing to do.

"Yeah," he replied, hoping to head everyone else off at the pass, "I don't wanna go, for some weird reason I'm not in the mood for a beachside holiday. So I'll just stay here, look after the place, I'm sure you'll have fun without me." He could just imagine the look on Yobei's face if they ran into each other. The disgust, and it would be disgust, there was no way Yobei would greet the return of the girl he'd wanted to marry –the girl that was really a boy- with anything _but_ disgust. The funny thing was that some part of him, some stupid part of him, didn't want someone who had been kind to him, who had put themselves in harm's way to protect him (even though Yobei wasn't a martial artist, even though Yobei wasn't as strong as him, as resilient – not that the other male had been aware of the fact) looking at him the way he knew Yobei would. The way he sometimes felt he deserved.

Now they were really looking at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Um..." Kasumi looked both worried and as if she didn't quite want to say what she was thinking.

Before she'd had a chance to compose her thoughts Nabiki butted it with "No offense Ranma, but I wouldn't exactly trust you to look after the house while the rest of us are on vacation, so if you're staying then I guess Mr. Saotome will have to stay too."

"No way boy!" his pop snapped "I'm not staying here so you're coming with us."

"But..." he started to protest, still not sure what he was actually going to stay.

"Why don't you want to come Ranma?" Kasumi asked, her voice gentle.

There wasn't anything he could say, not really, not considering how much these people loved to misunderstand him. He tried desperately to think of something they'd buy, but his mind was blank and he knew his silence was dragging on too long. "No reason" he replied, cringing inside "Nevermind, I'll come." This seemed to satisfy them, or at least make them shut up, though he could still see Akane looking at him with a considering expression.

"The plane leaves at 4:15AM on Saturday, so we've only got two days to pack," Nabiki declared now that she had no rivals for everyone's attention, "I don't know about you but I'd like to get packing."

"I didn't know Heron Island had an airport," Akane said before anyone had a chance to leave.

Nabiki turned to leave anyway, but still answered her sister's question "It doesn't, there's two hour boat ride from the nearest port."

"Oh..." Akane murmured, before a frown stole over her face "Wait- why would Kuno need a family ticket anyway?"

"He won it in some radio competition," Nabiki called out over her shoulder as she left the room.

That was a good idea actually, leaving the room before wondering why he hadn't wanted to come on vacation wandered into someone's mind and they started asking uncomfortable questions, again. It was only putting off the inevitable, he knew; but maybe he could keep putting it off until they all forgot, or some other horrible thing happened to him and they all focussed on that instead. "Well, you heard the lady," he said with only minor sarcasm as he stood up and made to leave "better get packing."

He darted out of the room before they had a chance to speak, though he could hear Akane call out "Wait! Ranma!" She'd just have to put up with being ignored, it wouldn't kill her.

000

He'd managed to avoid pretty much everyone until it had been time to leave. Of course the fact that Akane and her sisters had soon become obsessed with what they'd take to the exclusive Heron Island and his pop and Mr. Tendou had gotten annoyed with it to the point they barely interacted with the world outside their shougi game had helped. It also helped that he'd snuck off to buy himself a new swimsuit -not for any particular reason other than that the ones he already owned were a little worse for wear after fighting in them so often- and ended up buying just a few clothes that fit his female form (which he'd get stuck in most of the time since he'd found the weather on Heron Island better for swimming in the sea than soaking in a hot-spring) a bit better than what he owned. Most of which was more than a little worse for wear anyway and reaching the limit to which it could be patched. Of course that had all put a dint in his meagre savings, but he could always earn more. Or steal things next time – make his father proud.

Genma hadn't wanted to get stuffed in the cargo hold with the other 'pets' so they'd decided to shell out for one more plane ticket, figuring that his pop could splash himself with cold water before they got on the boat. When they'd gotten their tickets it had turned out that there weren't six seats all together, so they'd split into three groups. He'd snapped up the one lone seat (even if it _was_ right behind the toilets) so he could continue ignoring everyone and his pop (who wasn't talking to Mr. Tendou as a result of their last shougi game) had ended up stuck between Akane and Nabiki who'd immediately started to squabble about something, this had left Mr. Tendou with Kasumi, and he had no idea what they'd done as _they_ weren't loud enough to catch the attention of the entire plane.

The flight had been short and somewhat uneventful (aside from Akane's shrieking), though they had given him a bland, cardboardy meal, with some horrible movie he'd seen four times already as the only thing playing. He hadn't even bothered putting on his headphones instead preoccupying himself with worrying about all the many ways this holiday was likely to go wrong. By the time they'd escaped the airport and caught a bus to where they were meeting up with the boat everyone was getting a bit frazzled, including him, and then on the bus he ended up squashed between his irritated, overly hot panda-form father and an overweight, incredibly loud woman who smelled strangely like cabbage. _Cabbage_.

When they got off the bus Nabiki and Akane had still been arguing, though it seemed like their argument had moved on from whatever had started it and they were now just going over everything either of them had done to piss each other off. Of course any argument involving Nabiki was sort of amusing as she didn't yell, instead just getting progressively quieter and more sinister, which contrasted ridiculously with Akane – who screamed and yelled and carried on at the top of her lungs. Their argument had continued on for the boat ride, driving his pop and Mr. Tendou back together and back to their game of shougi –apparently Mr. Tendou had packed a portable shougi board – and making Kasumi frown with concern. He'd ignored it, mostly, watching the waves crash against the side of the boat splashin him a couple of times) and taking in the sea air until Heron Island had come into view, when he'd found himself focussing on it as it got larger and larger.

It looked different than it had the last time- bigger, fancier, with more buildings, more facilities- and there were more people around. In fact it was _swarming_ with people. From a distance they looked like ants on an ant hill, and even as they pulled into the port he found it disconcertingly crowded compared to what it had been like the last time.

"Come on Ranma!" Akane called out, bringing him back to reality and making him realise that he'd zoned out staring at the people milling about, while everyone else had left the boat. Only – he didn't want to leave the boat, didn't want to be here, and right then he couldn't seem to make himself. Before he had a chance to do _something_, escape somehow, his pop – still a panda – marched back onto the boat and began to drag him onto the island. He dug in his heels, deciding that if he was going to be forced into this he'd let the universe know about his displeasure somehow.

Genma ignored his resistance and continued dragging him into the main courtyard of the hotel that had once been Yobei's mansion. There really were people everywhere and up close he could get a true sense of how much had changed; as strange as it was in some ways it had seemed nicer the last time, or maybe it was just that there had been less half-naked people of varying levels of attractiveness everywhere.

A strange tingle shivered across his nerves, telling him that he was being watched. It wasn't the usual sense of threat, but he still found his eyes instinctively searching out his watcher, finding them drawn up to the top floor of Yobei's mansion and then caught in the gaze of Yobei himself. _Crap_. He hoped the other male didn't recognise him, but he didn't think his luck was that good.

"It's that way, see it says so right here!" Akane shrieked, breaking him out of his stupor. Instinctively he broke eye-contact with Yobei and looked over to where she and Nabiki were standing in front of a sign covered in directions.

"No it's not," Nabiki replied, holding up the ticket "This says we have to check in over there," she pointed to a building off to the side of Yobei's mansion. Akane opened her mouth to reply and he decided that it had nothing to do with him, instead searching out Yobei again, only to find that the other man was gone. He didn't know if he was disappointed or relieved or a bit of both, but what he felt didn't matter. Nabiki had apparently got her way as he was being dragged into the building she'd pointed at. It was light and airy inside, done up in pale marble and beech wood, and dominating the room was the check in desk staffed by men and woman in sharp, black uniforms.

Nabiki marched over to the desk, ticket out-held, and pretty much elbowed her way past several dazed looking families to slap it down in front of a balding young man with a sour expression. The man picked up the ticket and frowned at the writing and then up at them before slapping it back down on the desk and saying "I'm sorry, but we don't allow _pets_ at this establishment."

"Pardon?" Nabiki's voice had gone quiet and velvety soft.

"Pets! We don't allow them! I'm afraid that if you want to stay here you will have to get rid of that – _creature_," the man directed a vicious sneer at Genma.

He could see that Nabiki was working her way up to a tirade, though as far as he was concerned _what could they have expected?_ - when another familiar figure appeared at the man's side. It was Jeeves, Yobei's butler. "Is there a problem here?" Jeeves asked the man behind the desk.

"Mr- Mr Jeeves! No, no problem. These people just want to check in with a panda, that's all. I've told them they cannot of course."

"Hm..." Jeeves murmured, examining the ticket before turning a smile on Nabiki "I'm terribly sorry about this misunderstanding. Let me upgrade your accommodation to make it up to you."

"What?" Nabiki squawked, briefly losing her composure "You're going to let us stay here, panda and all?"

"Of course," Jeeves replied. "Let me just get you checked in and we'll get someone to take your bags up to your suite." The older man got them checked in quickly and then summoned a couple of bellboys to take their luggage. "Here are your key-cards," the older man placed six key-cards on the desktop "feel free to enjoy our facilities to their fullest at no cost. Please follow Yamamoto and Gervaise to you suite."

Looking a bit dazed Nabiki reached out and took the key-cards, staring at them briefly, before she marched off towards the lifts, the bellboys struggling to keep up. As everyone else followed her he chanced a look back, making eye-contact with Jeeves, who nodded his head in acknowledgment, before walking away from the desk and disappearing around a corner.

The lift was the same pale marble and beech wood as the foyer, with a mirror taking up the entire back wall – it was also large. The six of them plus the two bellboys and the luggage trolley all fit in without being squashed against each other. One of the bellboys, Gervaise obviously, pressed a button of the lifts controls and the doors slid shut before they began to ascend. When the doors opened again a long hallway was revealed with big glass windows at one end and -_4_?- doors, two on either side. The bellboys left the lift and headed towards the windows, stopping at the door furthest to the left and waiting for them to catch up. Nabiki strode on ahead, a determined look on her face and the keycards in her hand, stopping in front of the door herself and carding it open.

"Oh..." she gasped, standing in the door way and staring into the room. In mutual curiosity the rest of them crept forward and peered into the room – _oh, indeed_. It was – _huge_, a great big, beautifully decorated, light and airy, space with a full kitchen with the newest appliances, a full dining table and chairs set, steps down into a huge living room space with a massive entertainment complex taking up the best part of one wall and French doors leading out to a giant balcony. There were doors coming off two of the walls, and from what he could see they lead to bedrooms, _six_ of them, and at least one bathroom. In other words it was extravagance at its finest and probably one of the most expensive suites in the whole hotel.

"Something funny's going on here," Akane muttered from next to him.

000


End file.
